Letter to Editor: Schools should cut out favoritism and give all kids a chance

Dear Editor:

I was at the Dec. 19 game at MdCV school in Melvern, Kan. It was Lebo versus MdCV in basketball. Remind you my kids do not go to neither of the schools (and I thank the Lord for that.) But I was in the hallway before you get to the big gym. I overheard a mother ask the superintendent what school he recommended her to take her child to where her son could play more than two minutes on the floor or field.

What I heard and verified with the mother: The superintendent told her the coaches put the best players on the court and field during football and basketball because they want to win.

She then stated that she thought it was about learning the game and getting better. The superintendent said no in this community it’s about winning! (you never hear about teams that lose is pretty much how he was putting it.)

I have seen that MdCV has two eighth-graders playing on junior varsity, when they should be playing on varsity, and four seventh-graders playing on varsity, when they should be playing junior varsity. They talk about winning! Is that what the world has come to? No sportsmanship, no learning, so they can be better.

So they want students to get better, right? How is that going to happen when it’s obvious the coaches aren’t working with them or even care if they show up to the game (talk about the ones that need practice to get better.) Those kids will just end up on the sideline the entire game or get to go in for less than two minutes that whole game. Why don’t they work with the middle school kids, every one of them? So when they get to ninth-grade they will be great at the game!

MdCV needs to write an apology letter to this family. The mom spent $155 on apparel to support the school. But she said it will never happen again – which I can’t blame her. They also want her to pay $21.50 for the shirt for basketball. If I was this family I wouldn’t give them $0.01 for it after this. They should donate it to that child for all that they have done.

And then the school wonders why children that attended do not have high self-esteem. But could you imagine why these children want to learn and play sports and they get thrown on the back burner because they’re not good enough. All MdCV is doing is tearing down innocent kids. They shouldn’t worry about middle school winning, they should worry about teaching these kids how to be better at the sport so when they become freshman they will have a better chance at winning. And by the way for being worried about winning, hey MdCV how is it you haven’t won every game? You might want to yell at them for not winning or throw the clipboard down on the ground or court while yelling at the kids.

So if anyone has information that I can give to this family about summer camps for football and basketball please leave a message in the comment section below. Let’s come together and help this family out. I will be in contact with this family for the rest of my life.

And for the girls team it isn’t any better. A sixth-grader that plays – her dad is the coach. She should be on junior varsity not the varsity team. I see a lot of favoritism in the school district which back in my day none of this went on MdCV, and to any other school doing this, get your act together.

I will be calling this mother after the holidays to see how things are going. Thanks for reading. Let’s shine the light on the schools that are doing favoritism and not giving all children a fair opportunity.

Jennifer Boeck

20 Responses to Letter to Editor: Schools should cut out favoritism and give all kids a chance

  1. MdCV Hater says:

    Didn’t MdCV win a state championship 3 or 4 years ago? Sounds like the coaches are teaching skillls to me. Not a MdCV supporter, but geez people, quit whining.

  2. MdCV Graduate says:

    One of the things that also decides a students playing time is their grades. If the student doesn’t meet the grade requirements then they don’t play much or at all. It’s the same thing for high school and junior high. So that may be a factor to look at. Or even their attitude. When I gave my coaches attitude they pulled me from the game and I stopped giving it. There’s more than just if the student is good at the game or if they have the right last name. These coaches care about building character just as much as they care about winning, trust me.

  3. A parent coach says:

    My son plays at a mentioned school. And has been in basket ball for 2 or 3 years while in grade school. The coaches he had then actually coached everyone. He played and it boosted his moral. He felt like he had alot of friends. His grades improved. He was active in other things like church, and boy scouts. Then when he entered middle school. Everything changed. He wasnt one of the chosen ones so he was told to practice dribbling in a differant gym. He was told in front of all his so called teammates by his coach he wasnt good enough. And that he is c team. Thats when the bullying started. Kids pointing, laughing, calling names, told by other kids that he shouldnt even be part of team. If people wonder how bullying starts, i think its from how adults single out students. My child was even depanst in the locker room while changing. While not any supervision was in place. His moral dropped. His friends didnt want to hang around anymore. His grades went down, all stemming from how the coaches treated the players that they had from the island of misfit toys. How can kids learn math or history if the teachers dont put forth effort to help kids understand? Should be no differant in sports. Rant over

  4. Ray Vanderpool says:

    There is a reason society has labeled these kids millennials want everything handed to them on a silver platter per say don’t want to work for it. Once a student athlete hits junior high it is up to coaches to put their best players on the court or field that gives the team the best chance to win because it’s no longer recreation ball where all kids get trophies or ribbons for participation. At this junior high age is when kids start getting taught life lessons outside of the home, just because you show up doesn’t mean your guaranteed anything in life you have to work at it. You want to play you have to put in the work to be better than someone ahead of you on the court or field. I was given a piece of advice in about sixth grade(not allowed to play in junior high where I grew up) in a 4A school by my dad when I complained about playing time “things are not given to you, you have to earn them you want that spot out work the person ahead of you”. To this day that is the best advice I have ever received because it holds true in the work force as well! I hope I have passed this same attitude onto my kids in regards to working for what you want if I have I have been a successful parent!

    My kids have had full time summer jobs after getting up early for weights and still put time in practicing. If you are a parent that is complaining about playing time sports don’t just happen during season meaning during summer have your kid practicing on their own or clubs or summer leagues etc.. Tell your kid quit complaining about playing time if all that kid does is play Xbox or PlayStation or watches tv all time instead of putting in the work to get better.

  5. Just some one says:

    This goes on at most schools, Burlingame is very bad about this. It’s not about abilities it’s about who kisses ass the best or who has the most pull in the community. God forbid that a favorite community persons kid doesn’t get to play varsity or a school boards kid has to set on the bench cause they are no good. I find community’s a disappointment with the way they treat kid that try the hardest but are set on the bench in favor of favorites. To me this is bad sportsmanship. Community’s not just parents, schools, and coach’s should be disgraced by the way their school are run.

    • Jennifer says:

      Amen, And this Mother had every right to question any of them. But her child is wanting to practice and learn the game but the 2 coaches won't teach him or work with him. But beat you when track comes around they will want him to do track for them because he does amazing at track. Sad to see community's tearing these children down they way they do. And then they wounder why the kids have low self-esteem. (Well this could be a good reason why.) The mother did tell me that the team in football had dibs on who was going to kick her child's ass after the games. And one of the kids pushed him and his foot into a toilet. And one kid even chocked him up against a locker in the locker room. And the coaches did nothing to any of the players involved in it. Then you wonder why kids commit suicide. Well doesn't help when the student involved gets away with it just because they won't punish them cause then that means the kid would have to sit out a game for his punishment.

      • Contempt for this says:

        Sounds like you’ve done lots of research on this problem. You’ve talked to the coaches? You’ve talked to the parents of the others involved?

        I really doubt it. The school s in Osage county are all pretty good, as are all the coaches. You are starting a huge problem, and are obviously shooting from the hip. You have no idea what you are talking about!

  6. Cherity says:

    We are blessed in small towns that all of the kids get a chance to play at all. I went to a large school where you had to try out for teams. There it had nothing to do with the grade level a student was in and everything to do with ability. The small schools even create third teams in some cases just to give kids a chance to play. Whether you are looking at sports teams or a job down the road the goal is always the same, winning and being the best or providing the best product. I think we should look at it as an opportunity to show our children that they have to work hard and prove themselves. We as the adults need to take a step back and see that it is not always about coaches/teachers/bosses choosing favorites it is about the kids or people that have the drive, ambition and work ethic to succeed. We as parents/families need to teach our children to work hard, give their best and that it is ok not to be chosen for everything. It is ok to work towards a goal and push yourself to play more next season or get a promotion in whatever part of life that they are in. We also are not in these gyms, locker rooms, practices or classrooms so it is not our job or our place to complain about who plays and who doesn’t. We all want our children to be the best, to be included, to get picked and to be happy but ultimately it is their job to navigate how to do that not for us to create false reality by complaining until we get our way.

    • Jennifer says:

      The point is when the coaches get paid to teach these kids how to play, and then they don't. They only work with the ones that already know how to play the game. How do you expect any child to get better when they don't even know how to play the game do to lack of teaching from the coaches? She isn't asking much beside the coach to work with all students so they all can learn the game. She isn't asking for her child to be on the court all the time. She is asking that the coaches treat all the same and work with all players. So please leave show each kid the same respect is all she wants. Treat all the same don't show favoritism just because that kids family works at the school. It happens in every school. I am sure of that. Why can't they work with all the kids to teach them the game and not just the ones that have family that works for that school?

      • Contempt for this says:

        Before you tear down a coach you don’t know (you said you were glad your kids didn’t go to MdCV or lebo), ask the upset parent if the student athlete is better at basketball now than when he was when he started playing. Chances are that he is. This puts a huge hole in your argument. You see it is hard to develop skill s if you aren’t being worked with by someone who is a coach. It’s not impossible, but highly unlikely. Hmmm

  7. MdCV parent says:

    At MdCV the child must have a parent working for the district or on the school board to play. It is not about who is the best. If the child does not play varsity they are not even looked at in practice. Not the same school I graduated from. It is also sad the the have one of the best elementary schools then fall flat and do not even prepare students for college.

    • Jeremy Lingenfelter says:

      Like I said, so easy to blame the school, teachers and administration. But ask yourself,is the material not being taught, or is the drive to better one’s self missing? Whose responsibility is it to instill that drive? Where does one learn to become complacent? The school, teachers and administration are a great group of people that care about students and each other. Many opportunities are there for those who really take advantage, academically, socially, and athletically. All students are given the opportunity to succeed, if they need help,they are not turned away. If they seek to become better then they will. You cannot blame all shortcomings on one single entity. There is not one single solution to any one problem. No place on Earth is perfect for every person on Earth. You get what you put in.

      • Jennifer says:

        Like I said to other people. This child has worked hard to learn the game it's the lack of the coaches only working with kids that the family works for the school ect. This has to stop the favoritism has gotten so bad in the school district. You can't always judge the book by the cover. Until you open your eye's to listen to what all has happened and how hard this child has worked. Please don't judge anyone.

        • Contempt for this says:

          You’ve posted “please don’t judge anyone”. From what I have read, you already have. Kinda frustrating, and hard to take you serious.

        • Parent tired of listening to cry babies says:

          Which kids are the ones that play because “their parents work for the school”? You want to point fingers, have enough guts to name names. Name me one kid he should be playing over….I’m listening…

          • OsageWayne says:

            Sorry, I will not approve any comment here naming names of kids involved. The person who wrote the original letter stating her opinions of perceived favoritism and policies of local school sports programs had "enough guts" to put her name on the letter, which is more than you have done, "parent tired of listening to cry babies". -Wayne White

    • Jennifer says:

      You see the light. Amen you hit that nail on the head. They have an amazing elementary but like you said, That is where it stops and falls flat after 5th grade. It's true everything you have said in your post. I know we will have negative people saying oh you got to work hard to get it. Well how much harder can a child work and that is with no coach teaching them. Since they don't work with all the kids. This child has tried and tired to learn but when the coaches won't teach all of them it's very hard for the child to learn the game.

  8. Same old Stuff says:

    This happens at all area schools, some don’t even play to win they play favorites which is worse. Varsity should play their best players if coaches practice all kids equally and truly know who their best players are. JV should let all kids play and Varsity should run non starters in when way behind or way ahead, teach skills and the rules of the game and everyone learns and therefore wins.

    • Jeremy Lingenfelter says:

      Really easy to blame school for things. The reality is there multiple sources for blame. It’s like throwing a dart at a dart board for blame. The hardest thing to do is to ask if it is something that I have done myself. Very hard to take responsibility,much easier to blame something or someone else.

    • Jennifere says:

      Amen, that is what this parent is wanting. Them to practice with all kids not just a few of the kids. And this mother isn't asking for much. Just treat all students the same on the court or field. If coaches don't work with them to teach them the game then how else are they going to learn or get better at the game? They get paid to teach the children but they are only teaching 4 or 5 out of the team how is that?

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